Thanksgiving 2010

A few people that I am most thankful for...

Growing up, all I ever wanted in life was to fall in love and live happily ever after. Seriously. I didn't dream of getting a big job position or earning a title in the business field. Money has never mattered to me. I'm not materialistic, though I do enjoy some modern things;) I remember a guy (some strange date once) asked me what I wanted out of life. I don't think I had given it much thought before that night, as I was young, eighteen. I vividly remember we were on the beach in Florida, it was late, and my answer was...a husband, a nice three bedroom house, two cars in the driveway, and a couple kids. Some might say that wasn't dreaming big, but I am a romantic at heart and all I hoped for was that perfect mate. Hoped. I dated many turkeys back in my time, and though I didn't always make the best decisions, I somehow always came out OK. (I must have had a guardian angel somewhere.) I learned from many of those experiences, and there were many experiences. lol No two relationships were the same. There were no patterns. I never had a "type". I liked tall, dark and handsome, but always found myself with guys very similar looking to Jude (not tall, not dark!). I think God was just preparing me for what was to come.
This Thanksgiving, I have so much to be thankful for. Jude is at the top of my list. HE is what I was always searching for. The day I met him, I knew he was the one, we just had many years added in there to build a friendship and get to know each other. My life was very messy back then. We took our sweet time getting to know each other and that is something I had never done before. Now, we have a relationship like no other. We were newlyweds the first five years of our marriage. That's a great start! I knew going into this marriage what I was looking for and he has fulfilled every hope and desire. You may have an impressive degree, the finer things in life, or a super duper fancy title...but I have all I have ever wanted right here at home: an amazing husband, and four handsome little men that I hope grow up to be wonderful husbands just like their father, as he leads by example. I believe everything happens for a reason! (I met this person, so I could meet the next person, and the next, and so on. I took this job instead of that job for a reason that led me to this time in my life, etc.) I can literally trace back all the steps to that night back on the beach talking to that guy, that led me to right here, right now. All my blessings in my life today have to do with family and friends. Thank you, Jude, just for being you. Thank you, God, for gifting him to me.

Happy Father's Day, Jude!

I may not say it to Jude often, and it's not that I take him for granted, but he is an amazing father who has more patience in the world than any man I know. I sometimes find the chaos in our home overwhelming, but Jude takes it as almost music to his ears. He loves the noise! He loves our children and provides so much for us so we can have a comfortable life. The fact that I get to stay home with our children and create many special memories is something I only dreamed of until marrying him. I love that I can take many photos of the children's daily activities and email a few pics to him and blog about it when the day is done. It wouldn't be possible without Jude. He works very hard and takes a lot of crap from his job of fifteen years, that I am sure if we didn't exist, he wouldn't do. He tries so hard to balance work and family, and I know that's a job in itself. He is some one's favorite in this house at ALL times. He sometimes plays board games with the kids in the evenings, or takes them to the library, he always reads them books at night, bathes them ninety five percent of the time, and loves watching kid movies with them. He likes to take them swimming at the gym, fixes them breakfast on most of his days off, and will build Lego's with them until they all are used up. He comforts them when they are hurt, settles disputes between them, and can fix just about anything they need fixed. Every day when Jude walks in the door from work, he is welcomed home with a kiss from each of us. (At the moment, that is three or four kisses guaranteed every day.) At times, there is even fighting on who will open the door for him. He is a hero in our home and I am a very lucky girl to call him my husband. He may not be perfect, but he has few imperfections in my book. I married the right man for me, and in good times and in bad, he never changes the way he fathers our children and I am most thankful for that. I know at times I feel like I could be a better parent, and he goes through that too, but from my personal view, he is doing a wonderful job and we are all blessed to call him our daddy here. Thank you, God, for this man!

Our Sixth Anniversary Weekend

Jude was off Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so we made sure to spend some quality time together. After all, we were celebrating six wonderful years of marriage.

Friday:
We woke up and it was funky outside with rain (again). We got all three boys dressed and went to eat donuts. One of their favorite breakfasts...

Then, we headed over to the insectarium and the boys were in little boy heaven. To be honest, it truly grossed me out, but it was a very neat place to visit. All three really enjoyed it; it fit all their age groups apparently.





For dinner, we all went to Chili's to eat. The boys LOVE molten chocolate lava cake and it was gone in two minutes.



Saturday:
Jude and I slept late and stayed in bed pretty much all afternoon, just relaxing. Then, it was time for the boys to go sleep at Nanny and Paw Paw's so Jude and I could have a nice adult dinner at Dickie Brennan's Steakhouse.
*Six years ago, Jude and I had our daytime wedding reception in the FQ and got a hotel room to stay in down there overnight, before we caught a flight in the morning to Hawaii. In all the madness, we left our bags at his parents house and only had our wedding clothes to wear till the next day. Silly, I know. It was raining and we were starving come night time, so we got dressed in our wedding attire and walked a few blocks to Dickies. The wait for a table was outrageous and we decided we would leave and try somewhere else. As we were walking out the restaurant door, a staff member grabbed us and asked if we had just gotten married. Of course, yes. We were seated immediately, the staff was great, and the food was oh so yummy. We try to go back there once a year and we are never disappointed. Great memories!*

After dinner, we came home to cuddle and watch a movie, left to get snoballs at 10:30 at night, and went to bed soon after.


Sunday:
Since we were still child free come morning time, we decided to sleep in late and go have a jazz brunch at a local favorite restaurant. It was wonderful! After, we picked up our two little monkeys and headed home for naps. Yes, we slept some more. Then it was off to Richelle's 30th birthday surprise party with tons of family. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RICHELLE!!) It was an amazing, relaxing weekend and it couldn't have been better. Jude sure knows how to treat me, even after all these years. I am one lucky girl and there aren't many days that go by that I do not count my blessings. He is an answered prayer:)


Six years of marriage and we've added two (and a half) kids. I wonder what ten years will look like...

Feelings on a fourth boy

When I was pregnant with my first child, Cullen, I only wanted a boy. I was scared to death of having a girl. I swore I would send the baby back if it was anything but. I was so excited to learn he was a boy during the ultrasound. I got what I wanted and loved it!
When I became pregnant with Aiden, again, I wanted a boy. I was remarried and I wanted my husband to have a son of his own, to carry on the last name of the family. I was ecstatic to discover that my fetus had a penis. Again, I got what I wanted. Super happy!
When it was time for my third child, I wanted a girl so badly. I already had two boys. When we did the ultrasound with Roman, I poured my eyes out in the waiting room after we saw he was a boy. I was devastated, instead of happy and joyful. I should have been celebrating that he was healthy and active, appearing on the screen right before my eyes. I had built myself up for a girl and was at a complete loss. Emotionally distraught.
When January of 2009 came around, Jude and I started talking about having another child. We knew we wanted another baby then, but weren't ready at that moment. We were going through a rough spot together and wanted to make sure we were making the right decision. We agreed we would try in May. Well May came around and we still weren't ready. Things were great between us, but we felt our hands were full. Aiden hadn't started school yet and I was feeling overwhelmed with Aiden and Roman both at home all day. As the months passed by, we still entertained the idea, but weren't ready to start trying. We said we would discuss it again in September. Finally, we sat down and looked at the Chinese Birth Chart to try and figure out when were the "girl months". Of course, we both wanted a girl. We already had three boys. There were times I can remember coming home from play dates and crying to Jude about how bad I wanted a girl, as if I couldn't conceive at all. About the time we were ready to try again a few months back, Jude and I had started going to church on a regular basis and were seeing positive changes in ourselves, and were having a wonderful relationship with our almighty God. One day after a Sunday morning service, around November 2009, I felt this emotional breakthrough happen and I turned to Jude, tears streaming fast, and told him that I was so ready to add to our family again. I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, I just wanted another child. I felt ashamed that I had yearned for a girl so badly in the past, when I was so very fortunate that we could so easily conceive big, healthy babies. I started thinking how great it would be to have another boy, and was ready for either or, just a fourth healthy child. We started trying immediately, and I became pregnant on January 1, 2010. All along in the pregnancy, I've heard the same question over and over "So, you all are trying for that girl?", and it isn't something I like to hear. The reason is different than what you would think. It is a constant reminder to me of how terrible I was during those years yearning for something that I didn't have, focusing on the negative, idolizing something other than God. Thinking I knew what was better for me than what God had in store for me. When we did the ultrasound with for our fourth baby a couple of weeks ago, I was happy to see our cute little baby bouncing around. When I spotted the penis, I was happy to know what I was having. Cullen and Jude were in the room with me, and I could feel they were both a tad disappointed. I started to feel sad, like I was going to let so many more people down. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, so many people that were cheering us on for a girl the past four months. But inside me, I was happy. Happy that God had blessed us with another healthy baby. A boy is definitely easier at this point, considering I have a clue in to what I am doing with them, I have the space for another boy at home, and hand-me-downs will still be going strong. Brothers!
So will we have another one? Will we "try again for that girl"? I am not sure at this point. If I had to make a definite decision today, I would say we are done. BUT, we thought we were done after Roman, even as going as far as getting a doctor set to perform a surgery to help out with that. I changed my mind when we left the doctor's office. I wasn't sure we were done yet and Roman was just a few months old. In a few years, we may change our minds and want to add on. But if we did, it wouldn't be to have a girl...it would just be to add another loving soul to this great, big, happy family that God has blessed us with.

Baby IIII

Here are the ultrasound pictures of our fourth BOY...

Big Betty

I was driving down the street and I saw this girl on the corner. She really caught my eye. She was so fine, and I just had to meet her. She was clean, perfect body, and looking for attention. I ran my errand I had to run and stopped by her on my way home. It wasn't love at first sight, but there was a deep lust. I got out my car and approached her, just as a a man approached me. That was it, hook, line and sinker. My future ride was right in front of me, Big Betty. The car salesman asked me if I wanted to take her for a drive, but I had my two little kids with me and not Jude. I told him I would come back after looking her over a bit. I mean, why take her for a ride, fall in love, and Jude not agree. He had no clue I was car shopping at that moment. We planned on one day looking in anticipation of baby number four, but in the near future. So later that afternoon we went back together and took her for a preview. It did take a little convincing to get Jude to agree to a sale in a matter of hours, when we weren't car shopping (yet), but he hesitantly signed the papers knowing he was making me happy at that moment. We traded in my favorite Honda from 2004 and bought a 2005 Suburban. I told Jude as we were doing the paperwork that I wasn't in love with her, but I did think it was a great price and good car. I did my homework after I checked her out the first time. What I didn't realize was how loaded she was until I got home. Then she became a really great deal! I fell in love!
She has seven leather seats, the two front are heated seats, the driver side has memory, Onstar with a phone line built in, a sunroof, dual front a/c and rear a/c control, built in DVD entertainment center with wireless headphones, XM radio, a six disc cd player, hard lined floor mats throughout, captain chairs for the first two rows, and even auto mirrors that close in and open out with a touch of a button. She's everything I've never dreamed of and more. She rides nice and I love that she sounds like a truck when I start her up. Jude, after a few days, came around and admitted it was a smart choice and he loves to drive her. Jude hates to drive, period. The kids fell in love and Aiden told me thank you, which I thought was so cute. My favorite part is taking an hour drive with no kids touching each other like all three were in the back of the Honda. The captains chairs keep them all separated, at least two feet from each other, and no one whines and complains on car trips.

Worth every penny right there! I think her year is perfect, as Jude and I will personally never buy new again. (Smart financial decision.) Maybe in five years, we'll get a 2010. As of now, Big Betty is here to stay!

From urbandictionary.com, definition of Betty: The term Betty refers to a hot chick. One that is attractive, stylish and self confident. A Betty is typically a looker.

Pay it forward

I am going to start this blog off by going back a few years. Five years and ten months ago I was about to marry the man of my dreams. I had the bright idea to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party. (Don't EVER do this!!!!) May 28, 2004 came and by the end of the night on the party bus, I threw my beautiful diamond engagement ring at Jude and told him it was over. There was a lot more to it that night, but this is the important part of the story. Jude was intoxicated (okay, we both were) and we parted ways that night/morning after getting off the bus not speaking. The next morning, with no ring on my finger, realizing what a huge mistake the whole night was, I called Jude ASAP. After some apologies, I asked where my ring was. He had NO CLUE what I was talking about. After hours of rehashing, we met at his friends house from the night before and called the party bus driver. Now, he was a real big, tall, very dark, scary, tough looking (but kinda cute) guy named Bernard. I had chatted him up the night of the "party" and really thought he was cool. So, we called Bernard and asked him if he had found a diamond engagement ring on the bus floor. He said he was driving the bus back from Baton Rouge, but would look for it and give us a call. I cannot explain what those minutes/hours felt like. The ring was expensive for our budget. Very! I had almost convinced myself it was just a materialistic item that could one day be replaced, but Jude couldn't be. We waited and waited and then the phone rang. HE FOUND IT! He was bringing it to us immediately. I was so happy, I definitely didn't imagine it all going down that way. There were many thoughts that had entered my mind earlier that day...he'd keep it, it got stepped on and smashed, someone else would find it and keep it, he cleaned the bus and lost it, etc. etc. When that bus pulled up with Bernard on it, and my ring, I tackled that man like no one was around, just him and I. lol I was all over him with joy. We all thanked him. We gave him a few hundred dollars (from our wedding funds) in an envelope for returning it and driving it to us. A thank you to him! There are plenty of times I have thought about ol' Bernard over the years. What an amazing man he was! He has a place in my heart, where ever he is.
Flash forward, last night out with the girls, Amy found a cell phone in a parking lot by this club. I looked through the numbers and found one that said "Momma". That was the one to call. Momma answered and she was just as sweet as can be. She said it was her son's cell and she would let him know we would be leaving it at the bar we were at. Well, at the bar, I didn't feel it was safe after I left it with the odd bartender. She just rubbed me wrong, and she did Amy too. So when we left, we took it back. I called Momma again and she said she would call me tomorrow with a plan. She was very thankful for the kindness. On our way to the next place out, I decided to peek at the pictures and see whose phone I had. (You would have, too!!) Well, I was a tad scared at that point as it was some thug guy with pictures of guns, him holding guns, money photos, etc. It was too late now, I already had Momma calling me back the next day to set up a drop off and it was very late at night. Maybe, I could just chalk it up to we lived different lifestyles. The next day I waited and waited, and about six that evening, she called. He got on the phone and was so courteous and pleasant, thanking me over and over. Jude and I decided to go eat at a public place and have him meet us there. Over dinner, I look up and see an old (used to be close to) friend I hadn't seen in a long time. Just as the old friend was walking past our table to leave, we started having a brief conversation, then ol' boy walked in and I excused myself to meet this "guy in a red and white shirt with dreads" (that's how he described himself) and return his phone to him. He was quite little in person, not as scary as I thought he'd be, so nice and he even grabbed a hug. I knew that feeling he had inside and it felt nice to do a good deed. I went back to the table, and when it was all over, I asked Jude if that could have been any more awkward of a moment. We laughed. Talk about a weird dinner! I know the cell and the ring do not compare in comparison, but when you lose something, anything, and a stranger gives it back, it renews your faith in people, if only for a short time:)

Flower competition

Reason #568 and #569 of why I love my boys.
Today, in this gorgeous weather, we went to watch Cullen play a soccer game at our local playground. They are an undefeated team, and this is a first for any team Cullen has played on. I usually do not get to really watch him play because I have two other monkeys to look after. But today, they played on the field where I could watch everyone and I was able to cheer Cullen on. Oddly, they were playing GIRLS today; older girls. In the end, it was a tie (and they never make them play over time).
While the game was going on, Roman handed me two little flowers (weeds) in front of Aiden. Not to be outdone, Aiden picked me some more flowers (weeds). Then, Roman had to continue with the competition, then Aiden. It is so cute to have two little men competing for you. I'm a very lucky girl!! This isn't the first, and I sure hope it isn't the last.

Earlier, before we left for that game, I was flat ironing my hair while Roman and Aiden were playing their Leapsters on my bed. Roman rolls over near me and says "Momma, you so phootiful (beautiful)." He complemented me and my heart melted. They are sweet just like their daddy. They get it honestly.
*My photos won't upload, only one. Need to work on that.

45 days; oh, and 8 months to go

I haven't blogged in about a month and a half (45 days) and I do miss it at times; other times, I don't. A lot has happened over the weeks, including a wonderful Christmas, a happy new year, a death in the family and a new life created.
Every Sunday you will find Jude and I at a church that I absolutely love! It is amazing what God can do in your life. I wish I had found this church sooner.
Wednesday nights I recently started attending a small covenant group within the LCC and am enjoying it. The kids still love going to church! Life has been wonderful in an amazing Godly way. Last week we were presented with fasting for three weeks of prayer. I decided to fast from Facebook, something I do way too much and find pleasure in. It was hard the first few days but I think I got the hang of it. I have been reading some great books to make up for all my empty time. So maybe, just maybe, with this new found time, I will figure out how to manage my time better and be able to blog again.
Aiden got "Student of the Month" at school a few days ago. Yes, my little man is the complete opposite when under other's care. He is an angel. lol Nine months of school, twenty students in class, he was one picked. Yay Aiden!! Cullen also had all A's, B's, and one C on his report card for his studies. Conduct is all C's too. The boy likes to talk. He can't help it. He was so down on himself the day he got his grades. I was super proud of him! It's like we weren't looking at the same report card. (I know he can pull that C up and give his momma an honor roll once this year.)
In other news, sadly, Jude's Maw Maw passed away on Thursday at four in the morning. She hadn't been doing well and hospice had come in about two weeks ago to help with her care while she spent her last days at home. She had seven children (including Jude's dad), many grandchildren, great grandchildren, and even one great-great grandchild. She was 86 years old. I'd say she lived a long, happy, fulfilled life. She was a woman to admire and I am sure she is enjoying her stay in heaven. Her services were yesterday and it was a beautiful thing to witness. She packed a church!
On the morning of her passing, we got a call at 7:00 a.m. I was waiting to take a pregnancy test as it got closer to my due cycle. It was three days before my missed cycle but I knew New Years Eve night was a success. I just knew it! (Yes, we started trying in December.) So when the phone rang, I woke to run to the bathroom and do my thing. Sure enough, there was a very faint pink extra line. I was sad about Maw Maw and happy to have new life inside of me. That day will never be forgotten. Jude and I are expecting another baby!
For the question, "Are you hoping for that girl?", well, I am just hoping for a healthy baby. I put so much hope into my last child (Roman) being a girl, that when I found out it was a he, I was devastated. I cried and cried. I don't want to do that to myself again. I'll take another boy! At least I will know what to do with him. I'll have hand me downs, too. We can always have another:) I am four weeks and our due date is September 25, 2010. We are so excited to add to our family!

Love

Jude and the boys were painting the other day and I found this drying on the counter. The things that make my heart melt!
Jude painted it:)

Tiny pieces of my heart

At the end of the first day of school, Aiden got in the car, sat in his seat, put his stuff down and said "Here Mommy". I looked to see what it was and all I could see was his two fingers smooshed tightly together. So I put my hand out and he dropped a tiny pebble in my hand. I asked him "What's this?". He said "That's for you". I told him thank you and put it in a little compartment in my car. The following day, this entire scenario was repeated. Very cute, I thought. Well I picked him up from school yesterday and realized it has been the same ritual every day since the first day of school. He doesn't forget. As I placed the pebble in the little compartment, I had a moment looking at all those little rock pebbles he has picked for me each day.

To me, the rocks would have had no value, but as gifts from him, they are now tiny pieces of my heart. He is just like his daddy; sweet, giving, thoughtful, the list goes on. I am one lucky lady to be surrounded by four caring men, big and small.