Thanksgiving 2010

A few people that I am most thankful for...

Growing up, all I ever wanted in life was to fall in love and live happily ever after. Seriously. I didn't dream of getting a big job position or earning a title in the business field. Money has never mattered to me. I'm not materialistic, though I do enjoy some modern things;) I remember a guy (some strange date once) asked me what I wanted out of life. I don't think I had given it much thought before that night, as I was young, eighteen. I vividly remember we were on the beach in Florida, it was late, and my answer was...a husband, a nice three bedroom house, two cars in the driveway, and a couple kids. Some might say that wasn't dreaming big, but I am a romantic at heart and all I hoped for was that perfect mate. Hoped. I dated many turkeys back in my time, and though I didn't always make the best decisions, I somehow always came out OK. (I must have had a guardian angel somewhere.) I learned from many of those experiences, and there were many experiences. lol No two relationships were the same. There were no patterns. I never had a "type". I liked tall, dark and handsome, but always found myself with guys very similar looking to Jude (not tall, not dark!). I think God was just preparing me for what was to come.
This Thanksgiving, I have so much to be thankful for. Jude is at the top of my list. HE is what I was always searching for. The day I met him, I knew he was the one, we just had many years added in there to build a friendship and get to know each other. My life was very messy back then. We took our sweet time getting to know each other and that is something I had never done before. Now, we have a relationship like no other. We were newlyweds the first five years of our marriage. That's a great start! I knew going into this marriage what I was looking for and he has fulfilled every hope and desire. You may have an impressive degree, the finer things in life, or a super duper fancy title...but I have all I have ever wanted right here at home: an amazing husband, and four handsome little men that I hope grow up to be wonderful husbands just like their father, as he leads by example. I believe everything happens for a reason! (I met this person, so I could meet the next person, and the next, and so on. I took this job instead of that job for a reason that led me to this time in my life, etc.) I can literally trace back all the steps to that night back on the beach talking to that guy, that led me to right here, right now. All my blessings in my life today have to do with family and friends. Thank you, Jude, just for being you. Thank you, God, for gifting him to me.

Taste and See

Cullen and Aiden have been attending vacation bible school together this week at the church we attend and the theme is Taste and See. It has like a Candyland theme. Every day they give a fun report of what they did. Here are a few photos from my phone...

This week, so far

Let me just start this blog post by saying IT IS SO FREAKING HOT down here. OMG! We are in June and my pregnant butt has three more months of this? WTH was I thinking? When I got pregnant for Cullen, he was my first and I had no idea about the summer heat and pregnancy. I learned a valuable lesson with him and swore I would never do that to myself again. The next two children, I planned so I would not be pregnant in the summer. Well, I must have forgotten just how HOT it is from eleven years ago. I wanted us to hurry this round once we decided to have another, as neither one of us are getting any younger. Boy, should we have waited. I am miserable! Just wanted to record this for my future blog book, in case we decide to have another, it will NOT be during the summer for sure!
Monday and Tuesday morning I had to babysit the Kreemer kids so the boys had friends to play with both mornings. By Monday afternoon, Aiden had such an attitude that I decided to go grocery shopping alone and enjoy not being yelled at for an hour. See, Aiden is a gamer. He is addicted to the Wii and all video games in general. Yes, he's five. I try to let him have some time on the weekends to play, but come Monday morning, he goes through detox when the Wii is put away. It's crazy, and oh so scary. I don't even see how he enjoys playing as he gets so mad at the Lego games that he throws and pounds the remotes, which of course gets him in trouble. That doesn't seem fun or relaxing to me. Let's remember, his name does means FIERY.
Anywho, Tuesday came and went with little to no problems. We went to the Castillo's to play for a little while and let the older kids swim for a couple hours in the kiddie pool.
Aiden

Xan

Laney

Eli

Hannah

Roman

Everyone was worn out once we got home and naps followed quickly. Cullen has been at his dad's. Tuesday night we went to get (sugar free) snoballs after dinner.
Today, Jude and I slept in, as he works really late tonight. Then the boys played in the backyard and burned some energy while I booked my hotel room for the trial in Hattiesburg.




The trial for Brandi is sooooo close!
Tonight, we have church group and Cullen comes home. I wonder what tomorrow has in store for us. At least Roman is feeling better and Aiden is all well. Next week, vacation bible school! I learned from a few parents at a recent birthday party that the key to sanity for any stay at home parent during the summer is multiple vacation bible school camps on different weeks. We are signed up for two and are debating a third:)

Over the river and thru the woods, to grandmother's house we go

This morning, Aiden, Roman, and I went to church together for a little praise and worship. Jude had to work. There, they have a child's church they attend and the rule is, if they are good and get a smiley face report, we stop at the gas station and they get to pick out whatever candy they like for a special treat. One time not too long ago, Roman got a sad face and just dropped to the floor after he saw it when we were picking him up from class. He had to watch his brother's enjoy their snacks that day. Since then, they have all had good reports. Once we got home, we were going to take off to the Northshore to visit MiMi and Nanny. Well, the skies opened up and it poured and poured. After about an hour, I decided to brave it and off we went. Roman and Aiden got their fill of love and attention from grandma and great-grandma the few hours we were there, and then we returned home in time to have dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant with Jude. It was a lovely day.
Roman and Aiden with MiMi

The name game

Naming your first born child is hard. Naming your fourth born child is even harder. Jude and I throw names at each other every once in awhile, but nothing catches. Well, Saturday night, Jude found a few he liked and wrote them down for me. I actually really liked one of the names. So, Sunday, while we were in church, I picked the perfect middle name: Rene, after my friend Brandi, who passed. It was her middle name, and conveniently, it is a unisex name. So I passed a note to Jude in church, and he just kinda nods to acknowledge me. I was teary eyed from excitement. When we got out of Sunday's service, he said Rene was a girl name and he has never heard of any guys named that. Well, I know a few and went on a Facebook mission to get others to back me up, asking if it was unisex or not. The responses were great and the final outcome was, YES, it is unisex. So Sunday when he got home from work in the evening, I showed him the FB thread. After I learned the meaning of the name, I was done. "Reborn" is the french definition. No negotiating. Jude wasn't happy with me at this point and we dropped it, after me nagging just a little bit. I mean, our last two boys have his family names as middle names. I want ONE. When he went to bed that night, there was a lack of attention for him:) The next morning, Monday, there was a note on the chalkboard for me. I love him so, so much.

*The first name is blocked out because I don't want to confuse anyone, in case we change our minds.
The last name is blocked out because, hello, this is a public blog.
(He did misspell Rene with an extra E, but I am not taking any points off for that.)
I wrote him a note back at the bottom.

The annual picnic

This morning we woke to a terrible storm happening outside. It was pouring down rain and church was in an hour. We also had Jude's annual work picnic to attend later on. I decided we were going to both, no matter what. We have missed the last few weeks of church and the cycle was going to stop today. We all dressed, put on our rain boots, and as the boys and I walked out the door, it stopped raining. Thank you, God. *wink, wink* After a nice Sunday service, we went to the WB to meet daddy and eat some yummy crawfish.
(Jude's pot is always the best.)

The boys had a blast, playing in mud puddles and helping Jude boil.
They made crafts,

ate a ton of sweets, and kept busy the entire time. I got to visit with Jessica, whom I see three times a year at the work events, which was nice. After eating way too much, the boys and I decided to leave before they did some pie throwing contest, where all the employees there were able to smash a pie in the face of a manager that they wanted to for $2. Now, with Jude being the boss, I totally think this is a terrible thing to do and to some point, a little disrespectful. There is always some idiot who will put a little too much force behind that pie. I personally didn't care to witness it and knew it would be happening soon, so the boys and I left. We're home now, the boys are napping, and I am right behind them. All in all, it turned out to be a great day.

Feelings on a fourth boy

When I was pregnant with my first child, Cullen, I only wanted a boy. I was scared to death of having a girl. I swore I would send the baby back if it was anything but. I was so excited to learn he was a boy during the ultrasound. I got what I wanted and loved it!
When I became pregnant with Aiden, again, I wanted a boy. I was remarried and I wanted my husband to have a son of his own, to carry on the last name of the family. I was ecstatic to discover that my fetus had a penis. Again, I got what I wanted. Super happy!
When it was time for my third child, I wanted a girl so badly. I already had two boys. When we did the ultrasound with Roman, I poured my eyes out in the waiting room after we saw he was a boy. I was devastated, instead of happy and joyful. I should have been celebrating that he was healthy and active, appearing on the screen right before my eyes. I had built myself up for a girl and was at a complete loss. Emotionally distraught.
When January of 2009 came around, Jude and I started talking about having another child. We knew we wanted another baby then, but weren't ready at that moment. We were going through a rough spot together and wanted to make sure we were making the right decision. We agreed we would try in May. Well May came around and we still weren't ready. Things were great between us, but we felt our hands were full. Aiden hadn't started school yet and I was feeling overwhelmed with Aiden and Roman both at home all day. As the months passed by, we still entertained the idea, but weren't ready to start trying. We said we would discuss it again in September. Finally, we sat down and looked at the Chinese Birth Chart to try and figure out when were the "girl months". Of course, we both wanted a girl. We already had three boys. There were times I can remember coming home from play dates and crying to Jude about how bad I wanted a girl, as if I couldn't conceive at all. About the time we were ready to try again a few months back, Jude and I had started going to church on a regular basis and were seeing positive changes in ourselves, and were having a wonderful relationship with our almighty God. One day after a Sunday morning service, around November 2009, I felt this emotional breakthrough happen and I turned to Jude, tears streaming fast, and told him that I was so ready to add to our family again. I didn't care if it was a boy or a girl, I just wanted another child. I felt ashamed that I had yearned for a girl so badly in the past, when I was so very fortunate that we could so easily conceive big, healthy babies. I started thinking how great it would be to have another boy, and was ready for either or, just a fourth healthy child. We started trying immediately, and I became pregnant on January 1, 2010. All along in the pregnancy, I've heard the same question over and over "So, you all are trying for that girl?", and it isn't something I like to hear. The reason is different than what you would think. It is a constant reminder to me of how terrible I was during those years yearning for something that I didn't have, focusing on the negative, idolizing something other than God. Thinking I knew what was better for me than what God had in store for me. When we did the ultrasound with for our fourth baby a couple of weeks ago, I was happy to see our cute little baby bouncing around. When I spotted the penis, I was happy to know what I was having. Cullen and Jude were in the room with me, and I could feel they were both a tad disappointed. I started to feel sad, like I was going to let so many more people down. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, so many people that were cheering us on for a girl the past four months. But inside me, I was happy. Happy that God had blessed us with another healthy baby. A boy is definitely easier at this point, considering I have a clue in to what I am doing with them, I have the space for another boy at home, and hand-me-downs will still be going strong. Brothers!
So will we have another one? Will we "try again for that girl"? I am not sure at this point. If I had to make a definite decision today, I would say we are done. BUT, we thought we were done after Roman, even as going as far as getting a doctor set to perform a surgery to help out with that. I changed my mind when we left the doctor's office. I wasn't sure we were done yet and Roman was just a few months old. In a few years, we may change our minds and want to add on. But if we did, it wouldn't be to have a girl...it would just be to add another loving soul to this great, big, happy family that God has blessed us with.

Do you see God?

He's the little blue guy in the sky right below the orange chalk up top, but above the kite. Yep, that's him. Well, according to Aiden, it's him.

I love it!

There was a large family that lived in a shoe

I hope this blog answers some questions that some people may have about adding to our already big, happy family in our small, warm home. This is to help you understand a little better what is going through our minds.

Jude and I purchased a modest (small/older) house, right under 1200 square feet, in a really nice part of town with very low crime a little over three years ago. Yes, we searched the local sheriff's office website to view crime in all local areas and we checked for child predators before we made a decision on any home. We considered what public school district we would live in knowing we wanted a large family and private school wasn't always going to be an option in our lives. We talked to neighbors before signing the papers on our house. We drove by at all hours on different days to see the neighborhood at all times. My point is, we put a lot of time into choosing our latest home. It is small in size, and in the past, has been an issue I have had to deal with and accept, moving from a larger house to this home. I have come to terms in the fact that we will not be moving anytime soon, as our plan now is to get out of debt before bringing on anymore financial burdens (besides children, top priority). A larger house being one of them. Ideally, I would like to add on to this one, eventually. We prioritize. I enjoy staying home with my children and that is most important to us at this time in our lives. We are very fortunate that I am able to do this off of one income and there is not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for this wonderful gift. We do budget and it is a very hard task in it's own, but it is what we want and totally worth it to us.
I came from a very small family and have always admired larger ones. There were kids in school that had many brothers and sisters and I envied that. I look at Jude's large family, his dad has six brothers and sisters, his mom the same, and I think their big families are amazing. I want my children to have lots of siblings. I am happy we will have four kids and am even now considering adding one more, for a total of five. It's not about having a girl, though that would be ideal and a joy to me. It's about having a big family, which is a rare thing these days. For anyone that has the mindset that each child needs their own room, I will have to say that I totally disagree. Here, in our household, all we do in our rooms are sleep and change clothes. We have a toy room and a family living room. My children do not hang out in their rooms. Even Cullen, the one who has his own room, is rarely in there. My children like to be under my feet. They drive me crazy at times, but I am happy with this situation. So to think that two (even three) kids cannot share a room at this young age is totally ridiculous to me and MY opinion is all that matters when it comes to raising MY family. By the time they are teens, I am positive we will have expanded on our home and made more room for three teenage boys, plus. Having one's own room is a luxury that not everyone can afford, nor finds necessary. Owning a home is a luxury in itself, big or small. Also, private school is not a top priority for everyone. I'm really tired of people thinking that one is better than the other, when they have no experience in both. The saying is: To each, his own. I am happy we are having another baby, we planned this, and consider our lives a blessing! There are many people in this world that have less than you, and just as many that have more. It's about being happy with what you have that counts....We're happy!!

45 days; oh, and 8 months to go

I haven't blogged in about a month and a half (45 days) and I do miss it at times; other times, I don't. A lot has happened over the weeks, including a wonderful Christmas, a happy new year, a death in the family and a new life created.
Every Sunday you will find Jude and I at a church that I absolutely love! It is amazing what God can do in your life. I wish I had found this church sooner.
Wednesday nights I recently started attending a small covenant group within the LCC and am enjoying it. The kids still love going to church! Life has been wonderful in an amazing Godly way. Last week we were presented with fasting for three weeks of prayer. I decided to fast from Facebook, something I do way too much and find pleasure in. It was hard the first few days but I think I got the hang of it. I have been reading some great books to make up for all my empty time. So maybe, just maybe, with this new found time, I will figure out how to manage my time better and be able to blog again.
Aiden got "Student of the Month" at school a few days ago. Yes, my little man is the complete opposite when under other's care. He is an angel. lol Nine months of school, twenty students in class, he was one picked. Yay Aiden!! Cullen also had all A's, B's, and one C on his report card for his studies. Conduct is all C's too. The boy likes to talk. He can't help it. He was so down on himself the day he got his grades. I was super proud of him! It's like we weren't looking at the same report card. (I know he can pull that C up and give his momma an honor roll once this year.)
In other news, sadly, Jude's Maw Maw passed away on Thursday at four in the morning. She hadn't been doing well and hospice had come in about two weeks ago to help with her care while she spent her last days at home. She had seven children (including Jude's dad), many grandchildren, great grandchildren, and even one great-great grandchild. She was 86 years old. I'd say she lived a long, happy, fulfilled life. She was a woman to admire and I am sure she is enjoying her stay in heaven. Her services were yesterday and it was a beautiful thing to witness. She packed a church!
On the morning of her passing, we got a call at 7:00 a.m. I was waiting to take a pregnancy test as it got closer to my due cycle. It was three days before my missed cycle but I knew New Years Eve night was a success. I just knew it! (Yes, we started trying in December.) So when the phone rang, I woke to run to the bathroom and do my thing. Sure enough, there was a very faint pink extra line. I was sad about Maw Maw and happy to have new life inside of me. That day will never be forgotten. Jude and I are expecting another baby!
For the question, "Are you hoping for that girl?", well, I am just hoping for a healthy baby. I put so much hope into my last child (Roman) being a girl, that when I found out it was a he, I was devastated. I cried and cried. I don't want to do that to myself again. I'll take another boy! At least I will know what to do with him. I'll have hand me downs, too. We can always have another:) I am four weeks and our due date is September 25, 2010. We are so excited to add to our family!

Happy 10th birthday, Culleeno!

Today, my baby boy made ten! He is growing so old, so fast. I wish time would just stop. I love the ages we are at over here: ten, four and two. Friday, Cullen and I went to the mall so he could pick out the design for his birthday cookie cake and we did a little shopping together. In true male fashion, he didn't really enjoy himself; though he did pick out some really cute shoes and a warm sweater. Then yesterday, Saturday, Jude was off work so we woke up, took the boys to eat beignets and went to see "Planet 51". It was a really cute movie and all the boys behaved to the best of their ability. It was the official kickoff to Cullen's tenth birthday weekend. Then today, we went to church together, hung out at the house, and went to eat at our favorite local Mexican restaurant. The mariachi band was there playing and we got Cullen to wear the huge sombrero

while they sang to the tune of Happy Birthday in Spanish. Again, the boys were very well behaved and it was a wonderful little lunch. When we got home, we enjoyed cookie cake and gave Cullen his birthday gifts. Just what he asked for, gift cards to Toys R' Us. He ended up with $200 in TRU gift cards and fifteen dollars cash. Eager to spend it all, we headed to TRU, just the two of us. He picked out some great gifts and was so thankful and appreciative of all of it! It was nice to see that. My baby boy is growing up!
Ro didn't want to give the hat back

Ro dancing to the sweet Spanish tunes

Aiden being good to the best of his ability

Ro presenting me with flowers he stole from the table
...Sooo "Roman"tic

Son-day

My little gang got up this morning and were getting into mischief. When I heard all the ruckus, I climbed out of bed and asked the Sunday question, "Do you boys want to go to church?". Why yes, they do! We all dressed and headed out the door. Jude was working today, but took a lunch to meet us there. All was swell till Roman's child care number flashed across the big church screen. I asked Jude "Is that us?" as I fumbled for the sticker with Roman's name and number id on it. He was already getting up to go. I said nicely, "You stay here, I'll go", but Jude wouldn't accept. He was out the door in the blink of an eye and I followed behind in under a minute. I tried to stay seated, but couldn't. Our little man had thrown up all over himself in child church. Jude kindly left with Roman, and me and the other two angels (HA) stayed at the service. After three hours at church (we had lunch there), we returned home. God, I love that place:) I did a lot of cleaning, and regular boring stuff a fortunate housewife gets to do.
When Jude came home, he was ready to watch the Saints game on the TiVo. Now, I am not a big football fan, but the passion Jude has for the Saints makes me slightly dislike watching it with him. If they are winning, he is in a great mood, and lovely to be around. But if they are losing, you would think someone had just killed his dog. He is an angry man and has little football tantrums. It takes all the fun out of watching the game with him. I try to avoid it if at all possible. So, I decided to take Cullen out for a movie. Spend a little one on one time with him. He was excited. I left it up to him if we would bring Aiden, and you can guess where Aiden spent his evening. The movie was "A Christmas Carol" and it had awesome 3-D effects.

I personally found it hard to understand their accents and it got a bit scary at times toward the end, but it was a must see for the theater. At one point, Cullen and I sat and were holding hands. It was soooo sweet. He leaned over and said "Mom, when you and I go places alone, I feel like I grow closer to you each time". I said with a smile "Yeah, right, you just want me to take you more places alone". He insisted he was serious and I believe in his little heart, it is true. He would sell his two little brothers in a heartbeat to be an only child! I really enjoyed our Sunday time together, and so did he.
GO SAINTS!! 8-0

Things I want to remember...

How Roman yell's "Can't" every time he is directed to do something he has no interest in doing. "Cannnnn't!"
How all the boys get excited when I say it is time to go to church. I was NEVER like that.
How Cullen is so polite and courteous to strangers.
How Aiden picks rocks for me everyday after school, still, when I pick the boys up.
How Cullen and Aiden hold hands when walking to the car from car pick up. (That is the only time you will ever see those two show any kind of affection toward each other.)
How Roman and Aiden yell "Bye Cullen" out the window when I drop him off in the mornings and Aiden adds "See you in car pick up this afternoon!".
How Roman pulls me up from the chair and says "Should see" when he doesn't know how to word what he is trying to say and wants to show me something in another room.
How Jude goes to church twice on most Sundays, attending with me and the boys in the morning and still getting his Catholic fix at some other point in the day.
How Jude goes to work and never complains about doing it.
How Roman says "I lub lou" (I love you).
How Cullen still wants to be tucked in at night and he will be ten in two weeks.
How much Aiden enjoys going to school everyday in Pre K.

Forgive and forget

That is what I have been working on these days. Since Jude and I have been attending church, I am trying to change a few things in my life. I will admit that I find it very hard to do these two things, forgive and forget. My life motto is "Do unto others as you'd have them do unto you." Seriously. But do I really live by it? I thought I did. I am not sure why I never added the two together before (treating others/forgiving). I always want to be forgiven, so why do I not even try to do this for other people. I think it takes a lot more energy (negative, at that) to dislike someone than it does to just move on past things, forgive, and forget. I asked my boys to do it at least twenty times a day. It is always "Say you're sorry, give him a hug, now go play!". I should be leading by example. In the carpool line for school, I have an issue with people cutting in line while there are twenty cars lined up behind me. I am working on not letting that get the best of me. I actually want to get out the car and explain the rules to people, but I haven't. I let this drive me nuts. I am now going to let them in (which I never do) and immediately brush it off because maybe they have somewhere more important to go or maybe they are ignorant to the rules and I can't blame them for that...not following the simple courteous rules of car drop off and pick up. I will just say a little prayer for them. Even the repeat offenders. Oh, I remember like an elephant! The area this is the hardest in is with Leo and Brandi. I try to think of ways to forgive him but I can't come up with any. It HAS to happen one day. It only tears me apart, not HIM. So in closing, if I have in any way held a grudge with you or anyone you know, it is gone! Bye Bye! See you later. I am working on what I consider one of my worst flaws and I hope to get well soon. At least I can admit I have a problem:)

Rushing it a little?

Last night when we were at church, the boys went in different playrooms down stairs. They had a great time, as they were all all-smiles coming out. As soon as we got in the car, Cullen says "Mom, I have something to tell you". I look at him and he is just a smirking. Me: "What?" Cullen: "There's this girl, and she was just in the same class as me, and her name is Leslie, and we go to school together, we're in the same class, and, well, everybody tells me that she likes me, so tonight, I asked her if she likes me and she said yes, and she asked if I liked her, and I said yes, and now we are boyfriend and girlfriend." WHAT? Fourth grade. OMG! So I asked a few questions about her and apparently this little Leslie had another boyfriend at the beginning of the school year (all of two weeks ago) and they broke up. Now I do not want to start with the name calling yet, lol, but I do not need any little girls breaking my big boys heart. As he was going to bed last night, Jude yells, "Cullen, turn the light out and get in the bed." Cullen replies with, wait, you ready for this? "I have to read my bible first." If you know anything about this household, that was a full on belly laugh. I mean, I am proud of him for the new interest and initiative, but I never in a million years thought I would ever hear one of my young ones say that. It looks like Cullen has a little bit of a church bug, too. When he woke this morning, he found time to fix his hair. He hasn't done that since the second day of school. Seriously. So anyways, this afternoon he called Nanny JuJu and asked her to take him to the mall when he was finished with his homework. She came and got him. When he arrived home, he had a video game and a RING. Yes, they have been courting for twenty four hours and he has purchased her a butterfly Mood Ring that cost FOUR dollars. "It's from Mexico." He was so proud to show this to me and I have to admit I really wasn't sure what to say. I told him it was cute and tried to think back to fourth grade, but that was so freakin' long ago. Isn't this all a little sudden? There is an open house tomorrow at his school and I told him I could not wait to meet Leslie's parents. His response was "They don't know about us. They don't like that she has, you know, boyfriends and stuff." Imagine that! And the plot thickens...

I tried to sneak in his room to get a photo of it at 10:30, an hour after he went to bed, and the turd was still awake. When I grabbed the ring, he was right behind me. I told him I wanted to snap a photo of it; because one day he will appreciate that I did.

Busy bees

Today-
*8:30 carpool lane
*9:00 gym
*10:00 Kids museum


*11:00 lunch at the mall
*12:00 window shopping at the mall
*1:00 Roman gets a haircut (A+ for behaviour)
*1:30 grocery store visit
*2:30 hour nap with Ro
*4:00 carpool lane
*5:00 bath and wash clothes
*6:30 church course for two hours
*9:00 homework with Cullen
*11:00 sleepy mommy

I thought I would highlight the days events because I am too tired to do anything else with them. My pocket camera broke this morning so I really do not have any fun pictures, although it was a really really fun day. I love my one on one time with Roman and picking my older boys up from school and hearing about their day.

It's a new day

I woke up this morning ready to try a new-to-us church. We had been attending church at another location (with a different religion) and I was not getting my full dose of God. Jude and I, when we met, were interested in different religions. I tried to take Jude to my church with me when we were dating, and he did attend once or twice, but he made it clear he was not interested in converting AT ALL. I loved him so that I made a promise to the (fill-in-the-blank) church to convert to (blank) religion and raise my children that way. We married there, and I (with Jude by my side) completed the (a-long-fill-in-the-blank) program. In March of 2005, I was baptised, along with Cullen, and Aiden, at a beautiful candle light Easter service. It has been almost seven years now and I have given it many many attempts. We have tried a few different (blank) churches over the years and it just isn't doing it for me. I'm starving for more! I just feel like I need lots more! More than what I am receiving each Sunday, when we actually attend.
Now, I am not one who likes to discuss politics or religion because it is a rare moment that everyone shares the same exact views, so you won't usually see me blog about it. But today I must slightly, and ever so lightly, mention it. I left the church this morning so emotionally overwhelmed. I shed lots of tears. I took a look at my life and have decided to make some changes. Yes, a little over an hour or two and it was some of the best therapy I have had in a LONG time. Guess what the topic was...depression, anxiety, and so forth. It was about Hurricane Katrina, now the fourth year anniversary, and the way we handle things in our life. Life truly is what you make of it and I am happy to have been shaken this morning. I can't wait to go back again. I haven't felt that way in YEARS.
As far as Jude and I, I told him that I would attend church at ten in the morning on Sundays where I feel I/we belong and will attend church again at five in the evenings with him and the kids, if need be. We can still attend (blank) church as a family. I can make this work. I hope he gives a lot of thought to all of this. I am sure he will. He is always so supportive of me, but religion is bigger than the both of us. A little divine intervention couldn't hurt, either.
After church, we headed to the park together and then to get ice cream.
I absolutely L-O-V-E family days! They always seem to fall on Sundays.