Two years ago today, in two days

This evening, Jude and I were leaving a wedding, giggling, and joking, and the date hit me in the car like a Mack truck. Brandi was murdered by Leo on August 3, 2007, and the date is two days away. I had said previously that I do not want to "remember" her on the day he did this horrible act of violence to her but it is hard not to think about her. I am pissed at Leo. Still. He not only changed Brandi's life that night, he changed her daughters' and his own (as their father). He also changed everyone elses! My life has been different in so many ways since he made his poor decision that night. I do not want to make this a pity post so I will not go into it too many details. It is just unreal how many lives can change from one stupid mans decision. My last few posts I talked about getting off of some meds due to weight gain. Guess why in the hell I was prescribed them! The weight I have gained is more than likely a side effect of these meds, that I will soon be hopefully off of. I look back at the first few months of Romans life and feel they were stolen from me. Those nights I couldn't sleep with adrenaline pumping through my body on the computer all night, the days I couldn't play with him because I was on the phone or computer, or doing something for Brandi. The arguments that presented them self in my marriage because of his weasel ass. The last two years, when I look back on them today, it is not Brandi that I think about, it is the piece of shit, Leo, that I am reminded of. I hope that loser gets life. If not, I hope he doesn't ever leave the jail to live a life outside of it. I guess I am still angry somewhere deep down and I know it is not healthy. His recent requests for "change of venue" is f'ed up. Brandi didn't get to have a "change of anything". Not clothes, not a job, no change of husband, nothing! What gives him the right?! I hope one day in the near future the trial happens and I can close this chapter in my life. Two years ago he murdered her and he is still awaiting trial. I want everyone to feel a terrible portion of their life can be put behind them, not just myself. I know Brandi's family and other friends need the same. Please, take a moment and say a prayer for Brandi's two precious girls and her friends and family. It's not over yet!!